Wolf Outrage

Well the wolf killers are back at it again. The Bush government just de-listed wolves from the endangered species list, which means Western states with wolves can start killing them again. Why? Because ranchers on public land occasionally lose a few cattle...at least so they claim. They lose cattle to weather also so they should be shooting clouds. They lose cattle to disease, snakes, and probably many other things. These are cattle grazing on public land, which the ranchers use for extremely low-priced and therefore tax-supported leases. The few cattle lost to wolves should be just another cost of doing business. One way of looking at it is these wolves belong to us, the public, and the land is ours. But a few ranchers with political influence set the policy. It's one more case of Republicans catering to fat cats.

The other reason wolves will soon be open-seasoned for killing is there are some people who call themselves sportsmen who get some kind of strange, perverted thrill out of killing animals from a distance with high-powered rifles with scopes. I don't know what is sporting about that. There are even fat cat doctors and dentists who hire guides so they can shoot wolves from the safety of an airplane or helicopter. Or in winter they shoot them from snowmobiles. These are people without morals or ethics, who think no more of the miracle of wildlife we share the planet with, than they do of tossing their trash onto the earth wherever they happen to be. To them it's like shooting a beer bottle. It's live-action target practice.

It's disgusting. Wolves are amazing creatures with the same ancestors as the dog who lies in your lap, or the ones working the cattle for the ranchers. It's an ego thing. They can pass the cost of the few cattle who might be killed by wolves on to the consumer. Do you want a dead wolf with that steak?

Please let your congressperson know you oppose the vicious killing of wolves. It's not a matter of how many wolves there are or how many cattle are killed. Wolves have a right to exist. Stop the senseless killing.

Interview by author, Murdoch Hughes, with his Mystery character, Harley Wolf, a vegan werewolf detective. You can learn more about Harley in The Seattle Barista Killer, available now from Mundania Press, LLC.

So Harley, what does a vegan werewolf eat?

Very funny! You want me to use that tired line you throw out at readings? I stalk the wild asparagus? There, you happy, dogboy?

Ouch, your bark bites. People can't help being interested in the whole vegan thing.

Yeah sure. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. There are billions of vegetarians and vegans in the world, whole nations even. But some little arrogant shit-burger eating fatboy thinks I'm weird. Oh it's okay for me to be a werewolf, but that whole vegan thing is too weird? Sure. Do you know why they recommend that hamburger be thoroughly cooked? It's because all meat has feces on the outside of it. When you cook a steak the harmful bacteria are on the outside and are killed off. But with hamburger the feces is ground into the meat so the feces, otherwise known as shit, has to be well done. It's still feces, however, but at least it's pure poop.

Okay, okay, enough with all that. Let's talk about the "Seattle Barista Killer."

You talk about the book. It's what you do best. You do write darn good werewolf characters.

Uhmm…well, how about coffee? You're known as something of an espresso snob. Why is the Pacific Northwest such a huge espresso consuming area?

So there really are dumb questions. Okay. This is the first region in this country to have readily available fresh gourmet coffee. People love coffee and they even drank that horrible stuff that was pre-ground and sealed up in those tin cans. I'm not sure anyone could have actually liked the taste of that stuff. They probably drank it for the legal buzz they got off of it. Legal buzzes are hard to come by. Coffee tastes best when you use the highest grade of freshly roasted coffee beans and only grind them just before you make it. It's best when infused with steam and consumed immediately. The reason is, the best of the aroma and flavor is contained in oils in the beans. The oils deteriorate with time and begin to evaporates after it is ground. However, even the best grade of beans slowly roasted by a maestro, can be ruined if not prepared properly.

We in the Northwest are lucky to have many good things, as well as a continually cleansing, rainy environment. Fresh is the word. And we have the ocean, mountains and the largest remaining number of werewolves, to name just a few of the things that make this area so special.

Speaking of werewolves, your girlfriend Helene is a fantastic character, if I do say so myself. Do you think she should get a spin-off and have her own series?

Grrr!!! Now you want to steal my girl? We work great together. Why mess with a good thing? Of course I wouldn't want to hold her back if readers really want something like that. She's amazing. In fact that's why I agreed to go along with this whole story idea of yours. I wasn't so sure it was a good thing to let everyone know that werewolves were alive and living in the Northwest. Mob mentality still exists. I also liked the chance to dispel all those old myths about us, but the main reason I went along was the chance to work with Helene. She's fantastic.

So you like the love scenes?

Yeah sure, you think I'm crazy? That's the best part. Ar-ar-arrrroooo! You know what they say about riding a Harley.